Bobbing to the surface....

Has it been actual weeks since I've posted here? Gads, my life right now is like being inside a blender on the HIGH setting, except I'm not HIGH and that may be why I am not doing everything on the To-Do list with a sunny smile on my face :(

That being said, the Hubs and I are off this weekend for a much-needed weekend away at a local hotel. We have enlisted the Grammas' help and will have 2 glorious days of wild sex and couple-time. OK, OK....room service and bad daytime TV. :)

Anyway, if anyone is still reading this.....I will be coming back. I will be posting some of the glorious crap I've been up to and I promise to WOW you all. LOL

For now, picture this as me, coming up for air soon!

My Housebound Holidays

Bonjour my legion of fans....miss me?

Don't answer that.

My Christmas was *good* thanks, in that I did receive an awesome new KitchenAid mixer toy from Greg and I have pretty much made rolls, bread and cake for days on end now. I am positively Martha these days, y'all. Meet my new boyfriend:

Family drama ensued throughout the holidays which was *bad*, but it isn't anything new to me or to you most likely, I'm sure you had some of your own ;) By the way, how was your holiday? Regale me with your own drama. Please. I need to make sure it's not just MY family.

As to my holiday overall, it was my evil plan all along to NOT leave my house for as many days as I had off. I was almost completely successful in this. Other than having to restock the house with food once (believe me bats had to fly out of the pantry first), complete one shopping trip for the boys to spend some Xmas cash (2 hours tops) and provide a birthday party trip to a waterpark for Quinn (I read magazines and sat in a hot tub for 4 hours)....I did not leave my house. I also did not complete one house project. I didn't repaint anything nor did I "shop my house" for any reason. I didn't decorate anything other than a dinner roll. See, the whole point was to take time off. Time off. I read, I watched TV, I played games, I ate (and ate) and enjoyed company and the kids....I took *time off*.

Imagine me fist-pumping into the sky here.

But darlings, there is a piper to pay for being housebound. It's a little thing called your immune system. That's right, I too have joined the ranks of the red-eyed, sore, sniffling, coughing plattoon of the suffering. Just in time to go back to work too. Hooray. Damn hottub, I should know better than to sit in "people soup" for four freakin' hours!!!!

Annnnndddddddd the only reason you have had no idea that I am so terribly ill and horribly whiny (and that you have not sent more chocolate or flowers)???????? My home computer DIED over the holidays. Sorry, it didn't DIE, it was murdered by a horde of downloading fourteen year old spawn of Satan that visit my home from time to time in the guise of my son's friends. So this blog post (lucky and auspicious NUMBER 100) was prepared offsite and loaded here at work on my lunchhour. No big loss, I feel like eating anything today  like I feel like going to the gynecologist....

So, leave me some sympathy here lovelies and tell me your holiday horror stories. I'll be checking in. Never fear, I'll be back and baby, I've got lots to say in 2011!

This post is brought to you by the letter "F"!

For those of you waiting on this:

FUCKIN’ POTATOES

• 1.5 cup (packed) grated extra-sharp cheddar cheese
• 1.5 cup crumbled Danish blue cheese
• 2/3 cup (packed) freshly grated Parmesan

• 8-10 pounds YUKON GOLD potatoes, peeled, cut into 1/4-inch-thick rounds
• 3  teaspoons kosher coarse rock salt
• 1  teaspoon ground black pepper
• ½  cup finely chopped onion
• 6 tablespoons all purpose flour
• 8 tablespoons (1 stick) butter, melted is easier

• 6 cups whole milk

These instructions I give to you, not by telephone or 6 times per day:

Preheat oven to 400°F. Lightly butter the biggest stinking roasting pan you own. Should be big enough to cook a toddler. Mix cheddar cheese, blue cheese and Parmesan in a bowl. If you are listening to Wanda, this must be a glass bowl, chilled in the fridge. Why? Who the hell knows, do as you are told.

Arrange one third of potatoes in pan, overlapping slightly. Slightly, people. Sprinkle with a teaspoon of salt and 1/3 teaspoon of pepper. Sprinkle onion over, then 1/3 of the flour. Dot with 2-3 tablespoons butter. Sprinkle one third of cheese mixture over. Do another layer, second verse same as the first. Quit bitching about your cramped hand from all the peeling. Top with remaining potatoes, remaining salt, pepper and butter. 

Reserve the remaining cheese. RESERVE, damn you!

Bring milk to a simmer in medium saucepan. Pour milk over potatoes (milk will not cover potatoes completely, do NOT panic). Cover baking dish tightly with foil & top. Bake 60-75 minutes. Uncover dish (liquids in dish may look curdled); sprinkle potatoes with reserved cheese mixture. Bake uncovered until potatoes are tender and cheese is deep golden brown. This could take hours, warning! Cook by the 30 minute interval and check often. The “beatch” never did give me time instruction so you’ll have to wing it like I do.

Remove from oven, let stand 15 minutes, wrap in a bath sheet and deliver these to my MIL’s house. I will be forever grateful as this will mean that I don’t have to provide the fuckin’ potatoes this year.

Ho, Ho, Hold on for a damn minute....

Yes. I did finally put up a Christmas tree. Last night = December 20th. I have to admit though I did it begrudgingly....I am in serious Grinch-mode this year. Maybe its the renovation madness, the horrifying clean up, the insanity that is the season but I could seriously go to bed and wake up on January 9th. I wish there were four more weeks until Christmas so I could get into the spirit but alas.....

However, I have children so this not only forces the whole "Santa is Coming to Town" issue but it also does not allow me to be grinchy in front of the boys....so I'll be a Grinch here. So, you know, you can enjoy it. ;)

REMINDER:

Send a maid, a chauffer, a personal assistant, a wife.....

I am so damn tired. I know I will sally-on. For today though, I feel like trying not to curl up under my desk and pretend that I'm not turning into my best version of a slug.

I start my 2nd-year University course in 3 weeks, I have probably a million pages of pre-course reading to undertake and I cannot seem to find anytime in the day to even get a start on any of it. I am swimming in overtime. I have so many projects on the fly right now I should have sprouted 6 more arms and changed my name to Vishnu.

The boys (including Greg) are flying into summer with track & field, taekwon do, baseball, summer vacation plans, school grad, cottaging, friends, BBQs, entertaining, deck plans etc etc etc. Greg is off for the summer, of course (insert eye-roll here). I know I should bow down in the direction of Mecca and thank my holy stars for that.....but truly, sometimes having 3 men in my house while I am at work all summer long with the housekeeper on holidays......just the thought of it makes me wanna cry.

So I am seriously thinking of taking up drinking in the afternoons, wanna join me?