Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.

I'm thinking my 99th post is a nice place to finish this 2010 year. I will be coming back in the New Year refreshed and ready to show you more projects and share more laughs.

So, from me to you, Happy Holidays. I hope Santa is good to you (if he visits your house). I hope family is tolerable this season. I hope for a prosperous and healthy 2011 for each and every one of you. Mostly I hope for a quiet week off where nothing gets lit on fire :)

Merry Christmas Darlings.

This post is brought to you by the letter "F"!

For those of you waiting on this:

FUCKIN’ POTATOES

• 1.5 cup (packed) grated extra-sharp cheddar cheese
• 1.5 cup crumbled Danish blue cheese
• 2/3 cup (packed) freshly grated Parmesan

• 8-10 pounds YUKON GOLD potatoes, peeled, cut into 1/4-inch-thick rounds
• 3  teaspoons kosher coarse rock salt
• 1  teaspoon ground black pepper
• ½  cup finely chopped onion
• 6 tablespoons all purpose flour
• 8 tablespoons (1 stick) butter, melted is easier

• 6 cups whole milk

These instructions I give to you, not by telephone or 6 times per day:

Preheat oven to 400°F. Lightly butter the biggest stinking roasting pan you own. Should be big enough to cook a toddler. Mix cheddar cheese, blue cheese and Parmesan in a bowl. If you are listening to Wanda, this must be a glass bowl, chilled in the fridge. Why? Who the hell knows, do as you are told.

Arrange one third of potatoes in pan, overlapping slightly. Slightly, people. Sprinkle with a teaspoon of salt and 1/3 teaspoon of pepper. Sprinkle onion over, then 1/3 of the flour. Dot with 2-3 tablespoons butter. Sprinkle one third of cheese mixture over. Do another layer, second verse same as the first. Quit bitching about your cramped hand from all the peeling. Top with remaining potatoes, remaining salt, pepper and butter. 

Reserve the remaining cheese. RESERVE, damn you!

Bring milk to a simmer in medium saucepan. Pour milk over potatoes (milk will not cover potatoes completely, do NOT panic). Cover baking dish tightly with foil & top. Bake 60-75 minutes. Uncover dish (liquids in dish may look curdled); sprinkle potatoes with reserved cheese mixture. Bake uncovered until potatoes are tender and cheese is deep golden brown. This could take hours, warning! Cook by the 30 minute interval and check often. The “beatch” never did give me time instruction so you’ll have to wing it like I do.

Remove from oven, let stand 15 minutes, wrap in a bath sheet and deliver these to my MIL’s house. I will be forever grateful as this will mean that I don’t have to provide the fuckin’ potatoes this year.

Why I Don't Drink Wine Wednesday #7 - Xmas Edition

When Greg and I moved to Ontario from out west we stayed with his parents for a while…..a long while. Ladies and Gentlemen, hold onto your seats for this little factoid:

I lived with my Mother-in-Law for TWO YEARS!

When we arrived here we had three things. A sixteen month old baby, an SUV we were trying to unload and a mountain of debt. The following is a list of what we did not have:

1)      Jobs

2)      Any semblance of household goods

3)      A Home

4)      Money

5)      Patience

6)      A plan

Someday I will tell you all about driving across the country alone to get here, someday.

Anyhoooooooo…..it is our Christmas tradition to spend Xmas Eve with Greg’s clan. Every year I get my marching orders from my beloved MIL, Wanda. You heard me, her name is Wanda. Wanda is the most giving, caring woman but there is one little thing about Wanda that is accepted by her family and has come to be accepted by us out-laws as well. Wanda is a CONTROL FREAK. Not as in, would like things her way, I mean demands that things are done in her time, on her schedule to her specifications and yes, they will be inspected. God help you if they don’t measure up. She also thinks that every other human being on the planet is completely mentally challenged and needs her help and guidance.

Cue Xmas Eve 2003. Dharma is told to bring scalloped potatoes. Not boxed, homemade. With 3 kinds of melted cheese. At least a large roasting pans worth. Lightly peppered and with coarse salt (not fine). I KID NOT.

She phoned me everyday for at least a week. Reminders of directions, questions on how I was coming along……”Did you buy Yukon Gold potatoes today?” The more she called, the more I seethed. I worked until noon that Xmas Eve and ran home already sweating about getting those potatoes into the oven. I had prepared them the night before layering them to Wanda’s instruction, I peppered lightly, I used the kosher rock salt, I grated 3 kinds of cheese….

As I toiled over them Xmas Eve afternoon and then while I waited for them to cook I started to drink a bottle of wine I had gotten as a gift at work. By 4 pm I had finished off the bottle, bitching about Greg’s mother to Greg the whole time. I was mad. I wrapped up the roaster in a bath towel (as instructed) and we bundled up the boys to go to Gramma’s place.

When we entered, she immediately swooped down upon me like waiting carrion. “So? So? How did they turn out? They’re not burnt are they? Did you set the timer like I told you?”

Seated in the kitchen were the great grandparents, little children spilling out over the kitchen nook and all my inlaws. I looked her dead in the eye (full of grape induced  courage) and said….

“I did exactly as instructed, since I’ve had nothing but INSTRUCTION since last Friday, Wanda. Here’s your FUCKIN’ potatoes”!!!!!!

 To this day, I have to bring the “fuckin’ potatoes every year. They were amazing. God damn it. 

Merry Xmas everyone.

If we're gonna be friends.....

I was trying to think about what you would need to know about me if we were going to be BFF like Little Miss Momma and I ;) (actually I just stalk her, she doesn’t know I exist). I did love her link party idea however and have been merrily stalking others via the links! LOL 

Here is a pic of my BFF for LIFE, my sister Jules and I. Hi Jules!

So if you were to be Dharma’s BFF, you would have to be aware of the following:

I tolerate other people’s children. I am kind but I adore my own and think you should adore your own too.

I cuss. A lot. No really, if you have a problem with foul language when not in the company of smalls, move on.

I am 41 and I skinnydip at every possible opportunity. In our lake is my favourite, after a night out with the girls in the dead of night, giggling like crazies. My husband is used to me coming home smelling like lake water or chlorine. He doesn’t ask.

This whole blogging thing totally intimidates me. I look at other people’s work/ projects and blogs and sometimes it keeps me from posting my weirdo masterpieces.

I am in love with Mick Jagger. You heard me.

I drive. I drive when we go anywhere because my husband drives like Henry Fonda in On Golden Pond. My sister calls me the “Getaway Girl”. I have a molten lead foot.

I have what I call “reverse anorexia”. I have been a size 14-16 forever but when I look in a mirror I see a size 6. I am that damn HAWT!

I collect toys for our annual Toy Drive at work and I’m good at it.

If it is labelled chocolate, I will eat it. I once ate a chocolate covered ant.

I had a breast reduction when I was 16 and it was the best decision I ever made. Thanks Mom for being so cool when I asked for that for my birthday.

I could probably go on and on, and anyone who knows me would say that I can…..but I’ll be going back to LMM’s blog to meet others who are brave enough to share some of their weirdness :)

Ho, Ho, Hold on for a damn minute....

Yes. I did finally put up a Christmas tree. Last night = December 20th. I have to admit though I did it begrudgingly....I am in serious Grinch-mode this year. Maybe its the renovation madness, the horrifying clean up, the insanity that is the season but I could seriously go to bed and wake up on January 9th. I wish there were four more weeks until Christmas so I could get into the spirit but alas.....

However, I have children so this not only forces the whole "Santa is Coming to Town" issue but it also does not allow me to be grinchy in front of the boys....so I'll be a Grinch here. So, you know, you can enjoy it. ;)

REMINDER:

Yes Master! Our new bedroom redo

That's right folks, we are in the new master bedroom! Here is a montage of the up to date action in our bedroom....OK, well not THAT "up to date" ;)

First step demolition! Greg took out the walls and closets between the two smallest bedrooms on our third floor up (we live in a backsplit). Our youngest, Quinn - whom you will see in the following pics, is taking over our master bedroom and we are building the new room to suit Greg and I. Although the new master doesn't have an ensuite it does have immediate access to our mainhall bath :) SWEET! No more naked dashes for Momma down the hall. I think I just heard my 14 y/o son sing Halleluiah!

Demo:

The wall that was.

We encourage learning opportunities, especially when they turn into free labour!



Hmmmm..... that vent stack pipe wasn't on the plans for the house. Great....reroute, reroute!



I can see clearly now the studs are gone..... this will be the bedroom portion.

....and this will be (cue singing angels on high) my new master closets!!!!!!

speak of the little devils, there they are :)

we had to fill in the doorway to the middle bedroom which will create a gorgeous hall wall to decorate at a later date. I'm excited about doing a family "Wall of Shame" when I get the gumption to take that one on.

A note about the odd detailing in every room of this house. On our cielings we have a 2" strip onto the cieling of the paint colour, I had never thought about this until my carpenter Tom framed in my closets. Actually it occured to me as I was driving home on my lunchhour one day to check on his progress that the absence of that trim in front of the new closets would be a dead-on *tell* that we had remodelled this room. Well, my boyfriend Tommy is sooooo smart, he had already figured that out and had created a trim out to match the detail in front of the closets. This is *why* he is my boyfriend.

My super-hubs Greg does all the painting, not because I can't but because he is a perfectionist and I, well I am not the neatest painter in the world, ya know? The colour I chose was a fresh green Cricket by Behr and y'all.....get the Primer and Paint in One.....you will send me gifts forever, promise :)

Remember that weird cieling detail, yah, tell me how you would have handled this. Would you have painted it out like us or would you have tried to extend the weirdo popcorn/ flattened plaster stuff? I'm lazy. Paint it out hubs! See? Tom did an awesome job making that trim piece look like it had always been there!

Because I am so lazy, I wanted a shot of what the floor, trim and paint would look like. This is when I got kind of freakishly excited! About the trim. It's the same colour as a bad file cabinet from 1964 but it is throughout my whole damn house, so I match to it not away from it. I sleep better at night. It makes colours hard but in the end I think it lays nicely against the fresh green walls.

Note to Dear Reader: We are on a budget. We reused the framing, the trim and both the doors out of the original closets that we demo-ed. I know, I know...the closet doors open the same way. Only you and I will notice anyway.

Doors are missing, carpet is gone, no one is sleeping where they should be. Pudge is so confused.

So, like anyone in the middle of a renovation the tough got going.....and while they did I went shopping. I had heard that our local auction house had a 50% off sale on this past Saturday. Sorry? 50% off? I was there in a heart attack. Can you believe I brought this home for $100?????????? Yes, you read that right. $100. Shit, I'm good.

So here is where we are now........I know the boob lights are still there, I haven't got any dressers. Decor has not even been started but thoughts? Feelings? Accolades? Critiques?



I won....holy guacamole!

My lovely blog friend Sherry Hart at design indulgence hosted a giveaway putting together a very sweet prize of fabrics, a hand towel monogramed and a sweet vintagey picture....all of which (except the "K" towel which I have plans for) will fit in with the new scheme of my new master suite (currently under major construction)!!!

Thanks Sherry!

Why I Don't Drink Wine Wednesday #6

From my friend Karen who knows how much I miss my glass of red:
 

To my friends who enjoy a glass of wine...
And those who don't and are always
Seen with a bottle of water in their hand.

As Ben Franklin said:
In wine there is wisdom,
In beer there is freedom,
In water there is bacteria.

In a number of carefully controlled trials,
Scientists have demonstrated that if we drink
1 litre of water each day,
At the end of the year we would have absorbed
More than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli, (E.. Coli)  bacteria found in feces.
In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poop.
 

However,
We do NOT run that risk when drinking wine & beer
(or tequila, rum, whiskey or other liquor)
Because alcohol has to go through a purification process
Of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting.
 
Remember:
Water = Poop,
Wine = Health .
Therefore, it's better to drink wine and talk stupid, Than to drink water and be full of shit. There is no need to thank me for this valuable information:
I'm doing it as a public service

An email to Greg this morning....

So it's your bossy wife...

The flooring is expected today, call Cindy at the Flooring company when you get home to ensure
it is there for pickup, you have the van today, aren't you glad?

505-###-7&&7

Also, we need the paint....I have FINALLY decided on a paint colour/ product and you'll be happy to know it is a Primer + Paint in one ( about $5.00 more per gallon than Benjamin Moore but better overall
for the timing and prep, yes?) Only thing is, the paint is at Home Depot.

Chant to yourself quietly now.......I love my wife. I love my wife.

Any chance of you getting to Home Depot tomorrow to pick up 2 gallons? I know....kill you now.
You'll be happy to know it's green though :)

Dharmie

The Green Giant goes to Toronto - Part Deux

So, as promised here are some photos from the Canadian Design Blogger's Meetup of November 20, 2010. What a great event and can you believe it was put together by Daniella and Vitania in cyberspace? That's right, they met for the first time that night! What do you possibly get two hip & cool girls from the big city that they can't get themselves? You get them a privately casked bottle of wine from the Niagara College (which is a bit of a drive for these two)....I hope they enjoyed them :)

Our place to be seen was the Hotel le Germain....and babies it was gorgeous!

I met some amazing women with beautiful blogs, gorgeous style and a few that were just downright COOL!

Here are the lovely Linda (whom I had my hair appointment with), Daniella & Vitania, the hostessing DUO and Connie who is a freelance writer and is very sweet!

The lady in leopard? That's Tonika, we were meant to meet. :) I saw her, her outfit and thought...."Yup, that's my kinda gal." Marched over, interupted her and basically declared her for my own for the rest of the night :) Hey, she was wearing leopard and houndstooth....ummm, together. LOVE!

There was a lot of downloading, uploading and general tech madness going on all night.

And everytime I turned around a lovely young person was foisting beautiful food upon me. I have to say I was very restrained...even when the bar broke out :) Can you believe I did not give into the WINE BAR? I knew you could. What a mess that could have been, what a better post it would have made....

This is Celeste from GK Hair, the lovely Celeste (our lead sponsor). She was from Florida and had been freezing since her plane touched down. I'm sure all she could think of was getting out of this frozen tundra of a country but she held up well :) The ladies from Delta Faucet were there and they along with all the sponsors gave away some gorgeous gifts!!!! A touch sensitive faucet set? Oh my! They also talked about their new blog : BeigeisDead check it out.

I even won a bag of swag from Omiyage a source for Japanese stationaries and bibs/bobs....a bag of masking tapes in an array of colours I had no idea existed and some handmade stamp blocks (cool stuff to try with the younger boy).

Delta Darlins' with our hostesses:

Now....remember the impromptu fashion show in the van in the parkade at the Eaton Centre....now you will know why I refer to my self as the Green Giant and why for the rest of my life I will refer to Celeste as "Little Sprout"....

HOHOHO Green Giant! I should have had a glass of f-en wine.







Why I Don't Drink Wine Wednesday #5

One time at band camp……..no really, Grade 9 Band Camp (shocking to find out I was a lead clarinet player isn’t it?) I snuck out after hours and curfew to meet a certain boy for some seriously talked about canoodling….hey, I was 15. He was sooooooo cool he had smuggled a bottle of Baby Duck wine into camp and he and I drank it by the lake in the moonlight. It was so romantic.

Right up until we got caught……and I had to spend the rest of that week in ISOLATION sleeping in a cabin with my 50+ something band teacher and his wife. Seriously. LOCKDOWN….for the rest of the week. I was soooo badass I could not be trusted to *not*  lead another boy down the path of wickedness. Really? It wasn’t even my wine, which of course, they did not believe.

Which leads to me wondering…..was I really that badass? Was I the Badassador of Badass? One would think that the clarinet playing would belie one’s badassery but then….. I did date a 22 year old for the rest of that year much to my Mother’s delight so…. yet another example of why wine and I do not mix.