This post is brought to you by the letter "F"!

For those of you waiting on this:

FUCKIN’ POTATOES

• 1.5 cup (packed) grated extra-sharp cheddar cheese
• 1.5 cup crumbled Danish blue cheese
• 2/3 cup (packed) freshly grated Parmesan

• 8-10 pounds YUKON GOLD potatoes, peeled, cut into 1/4-inch-thick rounds
• 3  teaspoons kosher coarse rock salt
• 1  teaspoon ground black pepper
• ½  cup finely chopped onion
• 6 tablespoons all purpose flour
• 8 tablespoons (1 stick) butter, melted is easier

• 6 cups whole milk

These instructions I give to you, not by telephone or 6 times per day:

Preheat oven to 400°F. Lightly butter the biggest stinking roasting pan you own. Should be big enough to cook a toddler. Mix cheddar cheese, blue cheese and Parmesan in a bowl. If you are listening to Wanda, this must be a glass bowl, chilled in the fridge. Why? Who the hell knows, do as you are told.

Arrange one third of potatoes in pan, overlapping slightly. Slightly, people. Sprinkle with a teaspoon of salt and 1/3 teaspoon of pepper. Sprinkle onion over, then 1/3 of the flour. Dot with 2-3 tablespoons butter. Sprinkle one third of cheese mixture over. Do another layer, second verse same as the first. Quit bitching about your cramped hand from all the peeling. Top with remaining potatoes, remaining salt, pepper and butter. 

Reserve the remaining cheese. RESERVE, damn you!

Bring milk to a simmer in medium saucepan. Pour milk over potatoes (milk will not cover potatoes completely, do NOT panic). Cover baking dish tightly with foil & top. Bake 60-75 minutes. Uncover dish (liquids in dish may look curdled); sprinkle potatoes with reserved cheese mixture. Bake uncovered until potatoes are tender and cheese is deep golden brown. This could take hours, warning! Cook by the 30 minute interval and check often. The “beatch” never did give me time instruction so you’ll have to wing it like I do.

Remove from oven, let stand 15 minutes, wrap in a bath sheet and deliver these to my MIL’s house. I will be forever grateful as this will mean that I don’t have to provide the fuckin’ potatoes this year.