May 17, 2012
My REAL Mother's Day PRESENT.
Yah, yah. I know my post is late, but you see I've been busy. No, I don't have a craft or a project to post. Nope on all counts of anything newly painted or re-arranged in the Mermaid Cave. You see I've been PRESENT lately. You know, in the moment, paying attention, watching my life happen around me as an active participant.
I read a post online today that spoke to my heart about How to Miss A Childhood. That post reminded me of so many days when my kids and I spent hours together staring into puddles, swinging on swings, walking trails, going to T-Ball and finding slugs. The boys are 10 and almost 16 now and slugs rarely get the same reaction they did 5 years ago ;) I find being *present* these days requires a completely different level of attention.
Knowing who is dating who, why someone is being "flamed" on Facebook, where it is OK to "party" and what kind of party we are talking about....how much to be seen and when. It is a real balance with teens as I don't have to tell some of you. Being present at this age means SEEING your child with an unflinching eye and being his homebase, no matter what.
This guy though...he is still all "Mama, look at me!!!!!"
And I am Quinn. I am looking right at you. I never miss a smile or wave from on the field. I want him to have exactly the same feeling his big brother had. He is my hero, I am avidly watching. I love him. I want him to win and have fun and not fall down. I will know every detail of each game, where he stood in the chorus and how he almost tripped getting on stage for his big moment in the play en' Francais.
For Mother's Day this year I got breakfast, gratis gardening, the new Conan the Barbarian movie and chicken nuggets for dinner. I smiled and hugged and told each of them how much I loved my gifts and their efforts to make my day.
Cause truth be told....I am half way there, aren't I?
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You just made me cry! Lovely words my friend.
ReplyDeleteWhat lucky guys you have. It's a tough line to walk. I never like hearing that I can't be my kid's friend. Of course we can as long as we realize those occasions when we need to change it up and assume the parent role. Over the years I had to remind myself to edit my non-verbals as I listened to stories of what my kid's peers were doing all the while on the inside I was totally freaking out. I always thought if I appeared too shocked or too judgmental that they would quit talking. Funny, they never did. I heard things that curled my hair but at least they always knew they could come to me. The tough days were when the occasional bullying or being left out issues surfaced. That was rough. Fortunately there weren't too many of those. My kiddos are about ten years older than yours. I miss where you are but I at the same time I love where I am and wouldn't want to go backwards. Even though we are empty nesters now and I used to cry just thinking about these days I realize now that they are still a part of my everyday life. Either via phone calls, texting, emailing or skyping. I also have one that seems to stop by almost daily.
ReplyDeleteEach chapter is thrilling. Enjoy them all. So cool to see how you embrace being a mom the way you do. You were born for this sweetie.
luvs ya
p
you are my mentor from afar.
ReplyDeleteThis was wonderful. :)
ReplyDeletebest thing i have read today. Mine are all grown, but i sure did my best to be present and not miss a thing. It all happens so fast.
ReplyDeletehugs
~laura
I ADORE ADORE ADORE ADORE this post D!! Thank you!! It was JUST what I needed this morning!
ReplyDelete