Now I understand why....

I am a wanna-be mermaid. Last night I listened to the droning hum of NHL hockey all night on the TV, heard countless mid to high-intensity squabbles going on in various rooms between Boys 1 & 2 and actually had the dog fart at me when I bent over to rub his exposed belly.

That's it. Fuck this. I ran a very deep bath, stuffed my huge frame in it, almost spilled the contents into Boy2's room below and stuck my head underwater.

If I could live my life for a week like that, I could actually book it as a staycation. I'm serious, when I was a kid my sister and I would sit at the bottom of our pool and look up at the hazy, feaky world and listen to nothing but the shooshing of our eardrums getting ready to pop. I think this is where I found my "I'm so fucking happy, I don't need Jesus, I love sunburns and I wish I had sticky candy" place in my head and heart. So when I can actually picture throwing my family's shit onto the lawn, I run a bath.